Ham O Rama and the Turkey Carcass

turkey

My friend Diane and I moved into an apartment to share with an occupant we knew. Her name was Nancy. Nancy had a dog she called Boogerbutt for some odd reason. Nancy also loved to drink and eat, in that order, so it wasn’t strange that she would eat an entire pot roast and blame us for eating it. It’s just that she couldn’t remember eating anything. This is called a blackout binge. At Thanksgiving time she said, “I bought a turkey, if you make it, we can all eat it.” Sure, that was fine with me. I’m not a big meat eater but I do like a little turkey on the holidays.

We returned from the bar and couldn’t find the turkey anywhere. Marv was with us so we set out to find it since she wasn’t home. To our HORROR, we found the carcass under her bed! She had devoured the entire thing in one sitting. Then hid it under her bed. Can you even imagine the odor? When we all asked her what happened to the turkey, she had no idea. Then we told her the bones were in a pan under her bed. Rather then ask us what we were doing in her room, she said we could make soup with the carcass. Yeah right.

ham

About this time, my father sent me a holiday gift called, ‘Ham O Rama.’ I DO NOT EAT HAM and I never have, much less any meat product covered in gelatinous ooze. It was in a box with some individual candies and old cheese of unknown origin. Later my mother found out it cost $2.99 at a local store. Wow, dad spent a lot of money. I think we fed it to Boogerbutt. Even he didn’t seem to interested in it or maybe Nancy ate it. We could never be certain… Oh, and we moved out soon after the turkey carcass incident. I didn’t want to get blamed for eating the dog’s food.

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About Cynthia

I'm a little crazy but who isn't? I enjoy writing about my many odd experiences and my perception is really altered by time, age, and drugs. Not really but it sounds cool. I'm from Los Angeles and moved to North Carolina. I don't like culture shock but it happens anyway.
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8 Responses to Ham O Rama and the Turkey Carcass

  1. J.R.Barker says:

    How can you drunk eat an entire turkey and not realise? You must feel full/ be covered in grease.

  2. Cynthia says:

    Indeed… πŸ˜‰

  3. Mavadelo says:

    If meat isn’t giving the dog loads of drooling and happy wagging….. stay far away from it πŸ˜€
    I hope your friend realizes that binge eating (especially when it gives blackouts) can be deadly.. and I am not even trying to make it worse… it actually can be deadly Please try to help her realize she needs help

    • Cynthia says:

      She got help after becoming bulimic and losing all her hair. The blackouts were from drinking, then she would eat in the blackout and forget that she had consumed entire meals!

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