The Horror called “The Most Magical Place on Earth”


Since I don’t want to be sued by using an actual representation of Disneyland, DisneyWorld or Disney anything, I chose a simple drawing of the “unmagical castle.” Not that millions of people don’t LOVE Disneyland and it’s subsidiaries, I’ve just been there way too many times. So numerous I can’t count. In fact, I LOVED it as a very small child going with my Mom and brother. Then I LOVED it once more with my friends Jon and Marv because we got into Club 33, where they have alcoholic drinks, the only place at Disneyland. Plus, you have to be a ‘someone’ or have connections to get in so I was pleased to be a ‘someone’ that had connections to ‘someone’ that had connections.

The simple truth is that you really need massive amounts of spending cash to enjoy the “Magic Kingdom.” Since my brother and I went to private school, there were several outings to Disneyland (45 minutes away) every year. EVERY year. For years on end it seemed. You can ride ‘Pirates’ only so often before you get bored. Especially if you’re ten years old.

Not that long ago I was asked to go to Disney’s “California Adventure.” I had lived in California for 41 years so absolutely not. Why pay one hundred dollars for something you’ve experienced in real life? Then I was told there was wine in that park. Okay I’m in…however, there was not enough wine in the entire park to make me enjoy my experience. I’ve been to wine country, Yosemite, the beaches, San Francisco, and skid row. Now I’m forced to see them in a theme park? (Well, not skid row, they chose to leave that one out sadly).

Worse, everything is now triple the price. My brother and I use to just sit and people watch, which isn’t bad unless you’re seven and ten, which we were. To make things really horrific, the rides are not made with people who have a 38″ inseam. I’m all legs and there’s no room for them in most rides. I was this tall when I was thirteen and still visiting Disneyland for the umpteenth time. By then it was fun to jump into pictures being taken by strangers or do other things to make the time go by such as shoplift. Just kidding about the shoplifting, you know Mickey has a camera somewhere and who wants to go to DisneyJail. Not me. It’s just too expensive.


About Cynthia

I'm a little crazy but who isn't? I enjoy writing about my many odd experiences and my perception is really altered by time, age, and drugs. Not really but it sounds cool. I'm from Los Angeles and moved to North Carolina. I don't like culture shock but it happens anyway.
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