Gordon was nice enough. Except he also showed up for Christmas a bit tipsy. This was odd since he was a producer at a Christian TV station. His red nose all lit up like Rudolph. He was just benign…like a tumor. His wife Carol was perhaps the winner of weirdness at each and every Christmas. One year I received a bar of soap, it was fancy soap but still soap. I had to ask my mother if she was trying to tell me something. However, it didn’t compare to what my brother Mike got, which baffled the three of us completely. He called me into his room and asked me what his gift was suppose to be. It was a shoe box with a picture of tribal Africans cut directly out of a National Geographic magazine. This picture was glued to the bottom of the box. Mom got a pin cushion. Carol won the prize for the most imaginable and the worst gifts ever. I think she must have spent 3 bucks that Christmas. She also invited her neighbors to Christmas dinner. She told them not to bring anything. I had no idea who these strangers were until my mother told me after they all left.
A few years later, Carol brought her small daughter. I forget her name but it’s something like Tiffany or Brittany or Buffy. I just had major knee surgery and had removed my brace to air out my knee in a remote corner of the room. She brought Tiffany or whatever over to me and pointed to the stitches. “Look how disgusting,” she told her child. Now I hated both of them. I think Gordon had fallen asleep or went back out to the car for another drink… Merry Christian everyone!